Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Taking Stock...

Every once in a while, you have to take stock of your life. Figure out what’s important to you... What’s not important to you... Why you make certain decisions... What might be holding you back from doing something you really want to do... What motivates you to be a better image of yourself... I like to think of these moments as a “checking in” with yourself to see how things are going. I recently arrived at one of those moments... I can’t pinpoint when it began, and I certainly have no clue when I will feel it’s complete. But I know I am in it right now.

Recently, the Broadway show IF/THEN asked the question we so often ask ourselves: What if? What if we had chosen differently? There are so many points in my life when I ask myself these sorts of “what if” questions. What if I hadn’t gone to Ithaca College? What if I hadn’t been scared to commit to being a musical theater major? What if I had stayed with my $18,000/year job in arts development and NOT moved up to a $22,000/year job in Broadway theater? What if I hadn’t agreed to go with my friend, Scott, to a dinner theater 23 years ago? What if we'd eloped instead of having a big wedding? What if we hadn’t waited so long to have a baby? What if we’d never moved to New Jersey? What if I had chosen to go back to work after she was born? So many “what ifs” swirling around in my head and making me dizzy.

To be clear, I don’t have any interest in unraveling or undoing any of the decisions I’ve made in my life. Nor do I have any reason to question or regret those decisions. I have always been told that we make the best decisions we can at the time, with the information we have at the time. And I truly do believe that. But sometimes, you just have to take stock. Of what you have... Of what you want... Of who you are... Of what makes you tick... Of where you want to go... Check in with yourself and ask how you are. It’s important to be honest and open, though... If you don’t like the answers you find, then do something about it. Embrace those hazy, fading memories and strive to make them come alive again. One of the greatest joys of life is our ever-evolving need to change. Make a change... And choose to grow...

Getting back into the swing...

A friend recently encouraged me not to be shy with my writings... So, I have decided to embrace the moment and reactivate my incredibly ancient blog. It's only been about 3 years since I last posted here... I can't promise I'll be all that consistent with my postings, but I do have a lot to say. (!) So, stay tuned.